Days Gone By
by sakuraheartz
Summary: EDITED Natsume and Mikan were childhood friends. Read as Mikan explained how her relationship with Natsume grew as they were older. OOCs. NxM


**Days Gone By**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters from Gakuen Alice, and I certainly do not own the song that I'm going to use in this fic. This song is from Gavin Mikhail – Days Gone by.

**Author**: sakuraheartz

**Summary: **Natsume and Mikan were childhood friends. Read as Mikan explains how her relationship with Natsume grew as they were older. OOCs. NxM

**A/N:** My first one-shot..Please bear with me with all the grammars and tenses mistakes. I'm still learning and I'd very much appreciate if you would point out my mistakes. ^_^

**Dedicated to my childhood friend, my best friend, and my first love,**

**I miss you so much.**

**

* * *

I won't break  
Down this way  
I will hold on for one more day  
If you'll help me make  
Myself feel  
Something so much more than this  
Something that's real  
I'll live, I'll love, I'll carry on  
Pretending I don't notice that you're gone...**

The first time I saw him was at the hospital. We were around 10 at that time. I was going to have a surgery. I had an accident the other day where I bumped my head on the table and caused an internal bleeding on the left side of my head, near my left eye, so I had to take the surgery to 'clean the bad blood away,' as the doctors said.

It was midnight, and I couldn't sleep. To my left was my mum, sleeping on the chair provided by the hospital. I was bored out of my mind, so I crept out of my bed, and I decided to roam around the ward. While I was walking, I saw a door that was slightly open, which led to a private room. As I remember, we had to pay some hundred rabbits if we wanted to stay there. I never saw what was inside of the room, and curiosity got me as I peeked in. The first thing I saw was a boy about my age sitting, in the bed, staring out of the window. The door squeaked a bit, and this caused him to snapped out of his trance. I was about to apologize when he asked me with a question,

"Would you mind talking to me for a while?"

The first thing I noticed about him was that his features, his silky raven hair and crimson eyes, captivated me. They were just out of ordinary, but he was breathtakingly beautiful. I knew that I was in love with him at first sight.

**But, god I miss you  
So much it hurts sometimes  
And, I can't bring us back to  
All the days gone by  
Why didn't I notice  
That you were not quite fine?  
Now I can't bring us back to  
all the days gone by...**

I hesitate for a moment, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the chair beside his bed. We were quiet for the next two minutes and I found it a bit awkward. So I decided to break the silence.

"The room…" I began, and he looked at me. "It's dull." He replied me with a nod and a "Hn". As we stared at each other, we began to laugh. After that, we started talking intimately, as if we had known each other for a long time. He was a few months older than I was, and he told me to call him Natsume as I told him my name. I found out that he suffered from a weak heart and was waiting for a replacement for it. He had never been to a real school before, because he was tutored at home. He spent all of his life, according to him, "…stuck in this prison…" We became instant friends. We didn't realize it was dawn until I let out a yawn. He told me to go back to sleep, and I promised to talk to him again the next day.

As the days went on, after I had my surgery, he would visit me at midnight and would tease me that the bandage that was covering my left eye made me, according to him, looked like a pirate. I would just stick my tongue out and tell him to shut up. Then, he would sit on the chair right beside me while my mum was on the left side. He would just sit there in companionable silence. After about a week, I was released from the hospital. I gave him my home number and told him to call me whenever he felt lonely. He called me once a week, and we would just talk about nothing. But we did enjoy each others' company.

**Tell me why  
Make me see  
How my giving up giving in isn't what's best for me  
You know I've tried  
But, I am terrified by all I should believe  
I need to know to carry on  
Pretending I don't notice that you're gone...**

5 years have gone by since the last time we've seen each other. We decided to meet at the Mall and introduce him to my friends. I didn't recognize him at first. He was taller than any one of us, and he looked like a foreigner with his fair complexion and his crimson eyes, which made him stand out from the rest of us. Not to mention he was charismatic. He became the "best buddies" to my guy friends and they talked as if they had been together for a long time. Maybe it's because he hasn't had any interaction with the male population other than his dad or the doctors. My girls were gawked at him saying that he's cute and all that. To tell you the truth, I kind of felt left out at that moment. Seeing him acting natural and carefree made me jealous of him. I told him that when we were on the phone that night. He just laughed and said that he was sorry that he was the 'attention of the day'.

"I just can't help myself, I'm like a magnet, you know?" he said. I just snorted. He also kept in contact with my friends and we sometimes went window-shopping together or just hung out.

**But, god I miss you  
So much it hurts sometimes  
And, I can't bring us back to  
All the days gone by  
Why didn't I notice  
That you were not quite fine?  
Now I can't bring us back to  
All the days gone by...**

I remember one day when he called me late at night, saying that he was going to be a big brother. By the sound of his voice, he was elated. We talked for a few hours deciding what name should be given to his baby brother. After a continuous argument that lasted for almost an hour, we've decided on the name Youichi. When he was born, Natsume was so glad that Youichi was normal. He said that Youichi was a miracle baby because he brought happiness and blessing to the family, seeing that his parents were always busy taking care of him. His conditions were stable at the moment, and was healthy enough to stay at home. He was glad because, with that, he was able to spend his days taking care of his brother. There was no news about a new heart for him, and he would always say, "Patience is a virtue."

**  
And I may not always  
Be there when you call my name  
And I cannot promise  
That the things you love in this life won't change  
But I will be with you  
In all that you say and do  
'Cause you are part of me  
And I will always love you...**

One day, I received a phone call from him, and he told me that he was going to study at a college in another country. I was surprised. He told me that he would still be in contact with me. He assured me that he was healthy and there was nothing to worry about as long as he ate his medicines.

Over time, I start suspecting him that he was keeping something from me. He would change the subject whenever I asked him about his health. I told him that, and I also said,

"I'll be there for you whenever you're ready to tell me something, 'cause I'm your best friend, and I love you so much, you know?" He would just say,

"Thank you"

One night, while I was doing my homework, there was a call from him. I picked it up, and was surprised that his mum was calling me, saying that he had died that day. His mother told me that he'd had an open-heart surgery and it had only a 50/50 chance of success. His mother told me that he'd said that he was sorry that he didn't tell me everything. I was devastated. His mother surprised me when she said that she was thankful that he had been able to find a great friend like me. She also said that I was the reason that he was brave enough to take the surgery. The only reply that I could tell her was

"…It was my pleasure."

A few days later, I received a letter from him:

**Dear Mikan,**

**I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my current condition. I told my mother to post this letter if something happened to me. It was my decision to take the surgery so that I could be there with you, protecting you, watching over you, loving you, and being there by your side always. But seeing that you are reading this letter means that I didn't make it.**

**So here's what I'm going to say: I love you, Mikan Sakura. Before I met you, I was miserable; I thought of killing myself every day, seeing that I was just a burden to everyone. But the day when you entered my room, that was the day when I suddenly felt alive. Your big, round, hazel eyes that seemed to be twinkling in happiness and the innocence that I love, your small, pointed nose that I love to pinch, that silky hair that I love to hold and comb it with my hands, your smooth, porcelain face as I caress it when you fall asleep, and those lips of yours from which I claimed your first kiss under the Sakura trees. You remember our first kiss, right? You tripped on me and our lips met – which you deny that you hit your tooth to my lips. You were so angry with me for saying to everyone that it was a kiss. When we were alone at our Sakura tree, I pulled you in and kissed you on your lips. You whined afterwards saying that it had been your first kiss. When I admitted that it had also been my first time, you were shocked. Somehow, we ended up arguing and teasing each other all day. I'm not going to say that I'm sorry that I took your first kiss, because I'm not.**

**Finally, I just want to tell you that I'm not a poet or a romantic, and I don't know the words to accurately express what I feel for you. I only know that you are the breath in my lungs, the beat of my heart, the ache in my soul, and without you, I am empty. The only thing that I ask for you is that to smile always, a real smile. Or I might become your worst nightmare and haunt you in your dreams. Live your life to the fullest, and don't be afraid to fall in love. Live for me, Mikan.**

**Loving you always,**

**Natsume**

Tears streamed down my face as I reread the letter over and over again. I couldn't believe that he was gone. I felt as though my other half was missing. I wanted to end the pain, but I remembered the last part of the letter saying that he wanted me to live for his sake. So, for his sake, I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. I let it out, slowly, shakily. It would take awhile for me to be able to smile and to be myself again, but I'd try my best. It was just that I regretted that I wouldn't have the chance to tell him that _**I love him**_. Although I'd always said those words after our conversations, I'd never had the chance to confess properly. That was my greatest regret. And you know what, Natsume? I was glad that you were my first kiss, my first love, and my everything. I will never forget you for the rest of my life. Until we met again, rest well, my love.

**But god I miss you  
So much it hurts sometimes  
And I can't bring us back to  
All the days gone by  
Why didn't I notice  
That you were not quite fine?  
Now I can't bring us back to  
All the days gone by  
I took for granted  
That you were in my life  
Now I can't bring us back to  
All the days gone by  
I always loved you  
I miss you all the time  
I promise I'll remember  
All the days gone by...**

…**The End…**

**

* * *

**Some of the accounts of this story are based on a true story; an untold love confession between me and my best friend, my first love, and I still love him 'till this day. This story is dedicated to him, and may God bless him. I copied some of the words from the letter he sent me and added it into this story. Please review this story and let me know how you feel about it. I can handle flames.

**Thank You to those who have reviewed this story**

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**Not forgetting to those who have put this story on their favorite story lists,**

**I am forever grateful**

Amami Chiaki-Lye'Nx

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Xiao Ying Love HIM

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